All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
