and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She bit a glass in half.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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