If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
