They should really pass out barf bags in church
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
