I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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