I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
