Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
