Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
