Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He passed out mid-signature
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
