GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
