got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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