I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
