Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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