i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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