Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
