it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
