This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
