She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What a dumb baby whore.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
