my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
