My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Green mimosas i think yes
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
