Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
