No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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