Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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