its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
