So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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