Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
