The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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