I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
