Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
