If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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