She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
