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• (314): View more from Missouri

  What happened to the watermelon?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  You fucked it.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

  Fav 60 7512 1553

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

  Fav 6 3142 1188

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• (281): View more from Texas

  seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

  Fav 10 1254 597

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• (817): View more from Texas

  My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person

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• (408): View more from California

  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Wait. How did I get engaged last night?

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