My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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