U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
