Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
