ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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