It's just like the Real World with babies
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
