Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
