I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
