she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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