He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
