shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
