pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
