Don't you send me to vm
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
