We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
