Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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