we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
