First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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