??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
