I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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