if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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